Speaking Australian Lesson No.1 : 'Mate' by I.Q. Crow

Welcome to the Australian Institute of Higher Learning. My name is Professor I.Q. Crow and I will be your tutor for this Honours Australian Class. This course will provide you with a foundation for speaking Australian.

You will learn how to converse with Australians on their level and using their own vocabulary and hopefully a greater understanding of the Australian and the australian way of life. Our first lesson will be the use of that great Australian greeting that is 'mate'. Throughout the world, Australians are synonymous with the constant use of 'mate'.

We think of Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee, the Fosters Beer ads, Old Skippy the Bush Kangaroo and those grotty lunchtime soap aperas. Could it be that that Alf Stewart would not be a true blue Aussie except for his constant use of 'mate' ?

Indeed, the proposed constitution for the Australian Republic in 1999, which was rejected by the Australian people in a referendum, incorporated the concept of 'mateship' being central to Australian culture. For us non-Australians the advantage of using mate is that it can be used in almost every situation and generally its frequency will not hinder its effectiveness.

Mate is not just used when addressing friends. It can be used when addressing work collegues or even complete strangers as we will learn later.

However, as you will learn through this course, the the only way to speak Australian is to converse with them on a one to one basis. So, to help you on the road I have invited here today a very special guest . A truly great Australian whose travels have taken him the lenght and breath of the Great Southern Land. His achievements are long and numerous.

Poet

Author

Traveller

Skater/Surfer

Champion enviromentalist

Steady off-spinner

Australian Olympian in Synchronise swimming. In both doubles and singles events

Winner of Australian Batchelor of the year on 4 occasions

Nominated for australian of the year on 17 occasions

TV Broadcaster

Ace saxaphonist

Rodeo Champion

and a good friend of mine............

Ladies and Gentleman I give you 'THE STONED CROW' .

- "People , thank you for your generous welcome. It is an honour to invited to such a prestegious seat of learning. My good mate asked me here to tell you how and when to use mate. Well, its pretty easy mate. You can say mate whenever you want mate.

When you meet some one you go 'How ya going mate'. Answer that by 'Good mate, yourself?'. Respond by 'Yeah mate good'

When you go into the shop , ye go 'Pack of Winnie Blue, mate' . Answer, 'There ye go mate'. Respond , 'thanks, mate'.

Just say you are asking for directions, mate. Ye go ' Excuse me mate where's the pub?'. Answer, 'just over there mate'. Respond , 'thanks, mate'.

In a lift ye knock into someone by accident. Ye go ' Sorry mate' . Answer 'your alright, mate'.

As you can see, mate, you can use mate everywhere when addressing friends, people in shops or complete strangers.

Say you are working for a bloke and he asked to ring up another bloke. Even though you have never met or even seen this bloke you can call him mate.You go 'G'day mate, I am the bloke with that bloke'. he will probably go ' Oh yeah, how ye going mate?'. Ye go 'Good mate youself'.

as you see mate it is pretty easy, mate.

There are funny situations when using mate. Such as when two drunken idiots are trying to have a go off one another. A common sentence would be 'Mate, if you dont knock it off I am going to smash one'.

I suppose this would be refered to as Australian irony.

Listen mate,The only time you gotta look out for using mate is when you are chatting to a sheilas mum or someone like that. Respectable ladies dont really appreciate being called mate. I cant say I know why, its a bit of a compliment if ye ask me.

So, when you get introduced to Mrs. Howard, you answer by saying ' hello Mrs. Howard , how are you today?'. You do not answer with a 'How ya going, mate?'.

Well thats about it mate. I reckon i've given you the guts of it now, mate.You should have a good idea of how to go now.

The only way to really find out is to get out there and do it mate. Right, I am outta here. I'll be seeing ya around, mate"