StonedCrow

THE STONED CROW'S 
PUB SURVIVAL GUIDE

As a good bloke in a pub once told me ‘There are three steps to heaven’

Step 1

The first rule, find out what time the pub is open.  Generally, it is possible to get a beer at any time of the day or night in the cities of Australia.  However, the usual opening hours vary between cities and states but take a look at my guide to get the idea

Residential Area Pubs:        12 o’clock closing / 10 o’clock on Sundays
Non-residential Area Pubs:        2am closing
Late Pubs and Hotels:                5 or 6am (Can’t remember)

Of course, don’t forget about the 24 hour pubs.  This truly is a great country.

Step 2

The second rule of pub drinking is to learn how to order a beer.  You may laugh but in Australia, ordering a ‘pot’ of beer in Queensland will result in you receiving a cool amber beer (approx 285ml)  However, if you where to do this in NSW the bar person would probably respond with a ‘Eh!!  Sorry mate, are you alright?’

HOT TIP: Learn it or stay thirsty

The great people in the Top End (NT) have made things easy for the lost, thirsty backpacker.  Simply order by the colour of the can;

But which beer do I order, I hear you say.  I am afraid the Stoned Crow cannot even help you there mate.  It is simply a case of trying them all.

Step 3

GET PISSED MATE

Cures for the Common Hangover

• Swim in the sea
• Surfing
• Work 4 or 5 hours (Hard and painful)
• Barroca or Aspro Clear
• Sleep all day
• Sex
• Ice Cream
• A raw egg
• Macca’s
• Go back to the dog that bit you (hit the piss again)
• Don't drink.  How did that get in there - Ed?